Last night, I made some dessert. Because sometimes, you just have a day that requires some dessert.
- Chocolate Banana Coconut Smoothie
I’ve talked a fair bit about my past relationship and how it has affected me, but what I haven’t said is that I’ve been dating a teeny tiny bit, too.
I think this is a good thing.
Dating can help build you up after someone makes you feel like you’re not worth all that much. After all, if someone new shows interest, is excited about you, and wants to spend time with you, that makes you feel really good!
The thing is, I’m so scared of getting hurt again that I can’t even enjoy it. I have never been one that’s all that good at keeping things casual. I have feelings. I get attached. I want to snuggle and giggle and hold hands. I want to have a glass of wine and tell you about my day. I want to make you dinner and go to the farmer’s market, and even the post office with you. The mundane details of life are so much richer when you have someone to share them with.
And so I leap, feet first, with all my might into dating. I am not a half-assed dater. Nope. I do it 110%. Unfortunately, this makes me incredibly vulnerable.
So what am I getting at? Where was I going with this? Oh, right. The whole dating thing. So I’ve been out with this guy a few times, and he’s a really great guy. Employed, good looking, fun to be around. He fits all the basic criteria. But something . . . I don’t know. Something just feels off.
Like maybe he’s already dating someone else?
Or he’s not over his ex?
Or maybe he just isn’t all that interested in me?
All of which is fine, but then don’t date me.
So whether any of that was actually the case or not, I’ve just decided to take myself out of the equation. Maybe I’m being paranoid, or maybe I’m just scared, but I don’t feel sufficiently badass enough quite yet to let someone play with my emotions. For now, I think it’s best if I just don’t date. Right now, I’m just a little too fragile, and I don’t think I can risk getting hurt.
So I will make myself delicious smoothies instead. That’s an acceptable alternative, right?
Chocolate Banana Coconut Smoothie
Inspired by Chocolate Covered Katie–who is a genius and should win some kind of award for awesomeness in the dessert category!
1 frozen banana, cut into pieces
1/3 cup lite coconut milk
1 T. chocolate chips
Put everything into a blender or food processor and blend until smooth. That’s it!
A smoothie will never let you down. A smoothie will always be there. A smoothie is love and comfort and happiness in a glass. 😀
I will sit in the corner and drink my smoothie and be safe and comfortable and no one will hurt me. That’s how that’s gonna go.
Time to judge me.
Do you think I’m being too paranoid? Or am I being smart by protecting myself?