The Story on Working Out

I have a little confession to make.

I actually like to work out.

Before you go rolling your eyes at me, hear me out.  It wasn’t always this way.

I used to workout because I felt like I had to or something bad would happen.  Like I’d gain a pound.  Or five.  Every time I went to the gym it was a sort of punishment.  I didn’t do it for my overall health or fitness.  I didn’t do it because it made me feel good.  I didn’t even do it because I wanted to be strong or toned.  I did it because I wanted to be skinny.

I would do 20 minutes of running and stop, thinking I was all big and bad and then go eat half a pizza and a bunch of cookies and wonder why the working out wasn’t doing anything for my figure.

About 7 years ago, I suddenly, inexplicably, started to lose weight.  It was a dream come true!  My appetite just wasn’t as strong and the pounds started coming off.  At first, I was ecstatic!  I mean, isn’t that every girl’s fantasy?  For those last 5 pounds to just fall away without putting forth any effort whatsoever?

Another strange thing happened around the same time: I wanted to work out.  I wanted to go running.  This completely baffled me.  Working out was always something I considered to be a “have to” rather than a “want to.”  I didn’t need to exercise for the reasons I always had in the past; I just wanted to do it.  I felt fantastic.

But my happiness was short-lived.  Everyone around me got concerned.  Why was I suddenly so thin?  I didn’t want to be talked about behind my back or pulled aside by my boss, a careful look on her face as she asked me if everything was ok.  So I cut back on the workouts.  I still craved them, but I was more worried about what people would think or say.  They made comments.  And I continued to lose weight.

Understandably, the continued weight loss started to freak me out.  I went to my doctor for some blood work, which all came back normal.  A clean bill of health in my hand, I walked out completely baffled.  What was going on?

And that’s when I realized that I had recently stopped taking anti-depressants.  I had been on them for so long that I didn’t make the connection between them and my weight.  Realizing that was confusing.  My weight had always been a contributing factor to my depression, and here I was trying to treat my symptoms with something that was partly causing them.  How could this have happened?

Feeling empowered, I let myself enjoy my new figure, eating what I wanted, as much as I wanted, and not worrying about my weight for the first time in my life.  I didn’t add in any workouts; I just let myself be.  I didn’t gain weight, but I also felt more in control with my eating.  I could have what I wanted and maintain my weight.  Suddenly, it made those forbidden foods less appealing.

To be continued . . .

In the meantime, I’d love to hear.

Do you like to workout?

Have you ever discovered something unexpected standing in the way of your health/fitness goals?

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10 thoughts on “The Story on Working Out

  1. I enjoy working out immensely. I do hate doing push-ups, and sort of hate boot-camp style workouts – but that is because I struggle with those. I make myself do them anyway and while I don’t like DOING them, I feel great after! But as much as I love working out, I still have trouble doing it as often as I should!

    Also, I have an underactive thyroid and a few years ago after I was diagnosed and got on medication I lost 10 pounds without doing anything! Unfortunately, it didn’t permanently make me skinny as it only corrected for my genetics and not my grilled-cheese habits & desk job.

  2. I love to work out!
    But I have to drag myself to the gym. I hate the routine that work out requires. I mean a 15 minute drive to the gym, changing into workout clothes, than showering after, drying my hair, going back home or to work. I wish just to work out.

  3. I love working out too… And everyone thinks I’m weird for it. But I crave the endorphin’s and even the HORRIBLE workout days where I don’t feel good going into it or even during it end up worth it in the end. 🙂 I’m excited about these posts!

    • I’m glad you’re excited! I feel the same. Even bad workouts are worthwhile because I feel SO much better after them. I actually have to make myself take rest days because I really miss the endorphins on days I don’t workout!

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