Some really really good things are happening.
I’m not ready to share specifics just yet, but since I share so much with you all, and since you are so wonderfully gracious and supportive, I felt it only appropriate to share that I am very very happy.
Riding on endorphins from the very good things last night, I enjoyed an early evening run where I took some time to reflect.
The predominant thought in my head as I was flying through those 6 miles is that I feel inexplicably, inappropriately, insanely, deliriously happy with the trajectory of my life right now. Important things are coming together. New opportunities are falling into place. And NONE of it, thankyouverymuch, has one iota to do with a man.
Let’s take a moment to let that sink in.
Because it certainly took me a moment—or several.
For most of my life, I have tied my happiness to a relationship or another person, and I have fought like hell to hold onto that happiness because I didn’t know how to have it on my own. But suddenly, I know myself. I get me. I have an identity.
I am a runner.
I am a wannabe chef.
I am a wine lover.
I am a sister and a daughter and a friend.
And I think I might just be a writer. Or at least part of me is.
Regardless of the “parts” that make up the whole, I can finally say that I know who I am.
Talk about a breakthrough.
I got to thinking about the “inappropriately” part of my thoughts during my run, and the truth is, it’s not inappropriate to be this happy. In fact, it feels just right. I deserve it, and I need to remember that and let myself enjoy it.
On the other hand, I am firmly in the camp of “not counting your chickens before they hatch,” so I am taking this slow. But I am letting myself hope.
In that vain, I celebrated my hope by baking up a batch of cookies! And I didn’t even want to eat them all! Not because they aren’t delicious, but because when I’m feeling good and happy, I don’t need to eat my feelings. I know you know what I mean.
Happy Hope Cookies
Makes 3 dozen
3/4 cup butter flavored shortening (use butter if you like, but shortening makes better cookies, IMO)
1 1/4 cup brown sugar (could also use a combination of brown and white)
1 T. vanilla extract
2 T. milk
1 3/4 cup flour
1 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1 cup old fashioned oats
1/2 cup each chocolate chips and walnuts
Preheat oven to 375*.
Cream together shortening and sugar with vanilla and milk. Add egg until just incorporated. Beat in flour, salt, and baking soda, then mix in oats, chocolate chips, and walnuts. Drop in spoonfuls onto greased cookie sheets and bake for 10 minutes. Cool on wire racks. Or eat right away. Your choice.
Look, I made you one, too!
What’s making you happy today?