Captain Corvette

Continuing the seasonal breakfasts, I whipped up Chocolate Covered Katie’s Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffin, subbing in butterscotch chips for the chocolate and adding in 1/2 t. of pumpkin pie spice. This was my second attempt at this muffin, and I ended up baking it at 350* for 15 minutes. It came out perfectly! Totally easy and yummy. Definite perk of working at home—I get to make a fun breakfast everyday!


Alright, alright. I know no one cares about my breakfast this morning.

So, if you follow me on twitter, you may have seen this photo as I was on my way to the “thing.”


I look excited, no?

As I was driving downtown, I was a little nervous. Not a lot, but a little. And it wasn’t because I was worried the dude wouldn’t like me or something, it was more because, well . . .

What if he has bad teeth?

What if he has a really bad lisp?

What if he backs into the parking space? (Pet peeve!)

What if he’s a munchkin?

What if

What if

What if?!?!

So. I get there right at 5, and the place isn’t open yet. Wha? But I still got there first, which was totally strategic, as I don’t want to have to be the one to find him. Of course, given that we were pretty much the only people there, that narrowed it down. Anyway, I got there first, so win for me!

I ordered wine (which wasn’t that good), and he arrived a few minutes later.

First impressions:

Not bad looking

A little short

A little sweaty

Runny nose

. . . pinky ring?!?!?

I can get over height, sweat and mucus. But a pinky ring? pinky rings

And that’s not all. Oh, no. He also had a bracelet and a necklace. I found them distracting. I was trying to listen to some story he was telling about work, and all I could think was . . .

This man is wearing jewelry.

Distracting indeed.

So we chatted, and that was fine, but it was clear to me that we didn’t spark. He kept hinting that he wanted to order food, but I wasn’t having it. I had committed to one drink with this guy, and that’s all he was getting. Would I entertain the idea of going to dinner with him? Perhaps. But I already know I’m not interested, so I suppose it would kind of be a waste of his time if he actually is interested.

Anyway, he paid, which was nice, and we left the bar. He not at all discreetly popped a piece of gum into his mouth.

Really, dude? You think you might get a kiss???

I mean, it didn’t go badly, but I thought it was obvious that there wasn’t anything there.

We walked to our cars, but I didn’t feel nervous at all. The whole kiss thing was definitely not happening. His car was on the way to mine, and well, it was this:

corvette decals

That’s a Corvette. A blue one. I suppose I should have been impressed by this, but I’m not that girl.

So I said goodbye to Captain Corvette, so aptly named by my friend Justin who I texted as soon as I got home.

Me: He had a pinky ring

Justin: Stylish!

Yes, stylish, indeed, but I am not a fan of dudes who wear more jewelry than I do. And that coupled with the runny nose gave me pause. OK, not really, but kinda.

tony soprano

Second date? Not likely. But I went. Which I guess is good. Life experience and kissing a lot of frogs and all that, right?

What’s your ultimate dating turn off?


26 thoughts on “Captain Corvette

  1. Jill says:

    OMG – how funny are you. I have an issue about too much dude jewelry, too – bad shoes, bad grammar and bad table manners and stupid!!

  2. Ughhhh….Why oh why do men feel the need to wear so much jewelry?! I swear there are an abundance of these types of men Michigan. When I was in high school I made a list of everything that I wanted in my future husband and right there at #4 was: He can not wear more jewelry than me. And I don’t wear much!

    • Yeah, I need to make one of those lists. I wouldn’t have even thought of this, but I guess that’s the danger of online dating, you know? I would have seen it if I met him out somewhere, but online, you don’t know! Oh well. 🙂

  3. LOL. You are my hero.
    I STILL hate that my husband drives a Mustang. UGH. Hate them. He loves them. But at least he doesn’t wear any jewelry. Not even his wedding ring. Bastard.
    Anyway, I am SO there with you on the Corvette and pink ring. All he needs now is one of those 1980’s crown air fresheners on his dash and you got yourself a keeper.

  4. This is the best story! LOL. I know you were the one who actually had to live it, but still . . . at least you can look back and laugh. 🙂 Man jewelry (mewlery?) is a big no no for me too unless it’s super manly or a wedding ring on my husband of course. 🙂 I’m so glad that you know what you want and what you don’t want — will make this online dating thing a breeze because you sound like a pro at narrowing down and weeding out the Captain Corvettes etc. 😉

    And breakfast looks delish!

  5. Oh wow, man jewelry is something I just can’t tolerate. It’s just not my cup of tea. It screams “Jersey Shore” to me! It’s the same as a guy wearing tighter pants than me…it’s just not okay!
    And I agree about the backing in. I don’t know why, but I hate it.
    So funny! This is not being picky, this is just common sense!

  6. …as the only male to leave a comment on here I can assue you that a car will be sent out to collect his ‘man-card’ shortly. Pinky ring? He makes us all look bad with a move like that. You were very polite to stick around as long as you did.

  7. ohhh eemmm geee! how did i miss this ??? lol…..i just busted out loud reading the part about the pinky ring……and then the ‘other’ jewelry being ‘distracting’….so funny!
    i am like you, girl. corvettes do NOTHING for me….actually no car really does it for me….guys think that this is impressive to us, and while it may very well be to some…..not feeling it here! kudos to you for reaching out and going on a friendly date! i give you credit! xo

    • Oh, yes, this was a good one. I’m not a car girl to begin with, but that one actually put me off, you know? Like my friend said–small you-know-what car! 😉

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