How to Spend $700 Without Really Trying

Alternately titled: Reason #487 why I am an asshole.

Saturday night, I had plans to hang out with old friends from Michigan that live nearby in Virginia. I was super excited to hang out with some familiar folks and not have to do any small talking. Because we all know about my abhorrence for small talk. 

Small talk pic 256x300

We had plans to go to dinner and then out on the town, so I got a little fancy and wore a dress and heels and even changed purses. Girls, we all know that this is the true sign of effort, do we not? Yes, ladies, my purse was going to match my outfit. This was big. I got everything switched over to my new bag, and then my friend texted me to say that she was in the neighborhood just looking for parking. I grabbed my keys and headed out to meet her. 

So remember when I first moved into my place and my sister had to shimmy in the window because we had locked ourselves out? I’ve been very vigilant about bringing my keys with me ever since. The doors in my building automatically lock behind you, which I guess is a very secure system, but it kind of sucks if you live alone and don’t know anyone well enough to have them hold onto a spare key for you. Anyway, I had been thinking that I should hide a key somewhere in the building in case I locked myself out again, but of course, I never did that.

And guess who’s key was neatly transferred off of her keychain and into the new purse for the night? The new purse that, you know, did not make the trip outside with me when I went out to meet my friend?



I had my dog with me. And my phone. But definitely not my key. My building doesn’t have any sort of 24 hour maintenance service, which is completely ridiculous, but I found a locksmith on my phone pretty quickly, and he was able to get there within about 45 minutes, so all was not lost. 

Or so I thought.

Because of the crazy industrial/commercial lock, he explained in heavily accented English, the only way in was to drill the lock. This seemed somewhat unlikely–I mean, the guy does this for a living! He can’t bust in some other way??? Sounds ridiculous to me. But being that I don’t own this condo and didn’t think kicking in the door was a brilliant idea, I let him drill. For $185 dollars. Or, “ohhhne heighty faaaayve.”


Once he finally got in, then there was the issue of replacing the drilled lock. Which would only be an additional $450. Oh, is that all??? Plus tax, of course. #FML

2012 06 25 08 12 11 686

I knew I was being taken for a ride, but I didn’t feel like I had any other options at the moment, so I said ok like a stupid dope and watched half of my paycheck get installed on my door. 

Then, I had a few of these.

001And a lot of this.

Grayhaven Winery 013

And strangely, in a move very uncharacteristic of me, I had a really fun night and didn’t let the locksmith fiasco destroy it!

Michigan marvin


I mean, lesson learned. Expensive lesson, but lesson learned, no less. I’m just grateful that we were able to get back in and that it was a problem that money could solve, not something actually serious. Sure, it was painful to hand over my credit card for a stupid mistake like that, but in the grand scheme of things, not such a big deal. 

What’s the last really stupid thing you did? 

Please make me feel better. 


19 thoughts on “How to Spend $700 Without Really Trying

  1. Here’s a good one for you. I was out in the car on Saturday and put the sun visor down when I was driving because obviously the sun got in my eyes and I forgot my sunglasses. For some reason I had it pulled forward a little bit more than normal and I had to hop out of the car real quick. When I got back in the car I slammed my head into the side of the visor and nearly knocked myself out cold! 3 advil please! Hope that helps you out! At least you got back in.

    • Oh my god! That sounds awful! At least I didn’t have any physical damage with mine, which is surprising given how accident prone I tend to be! 😉


  2. thelastcorral says:

    Went to an art fair on the beach. When I opened the car door the parking ticket flew out. My friend and I searched and searched for it to no avail. I has to pat the list ticket fee which was $26 more than what I would have paid. Not as pricey as yours , but still annoying.

  3. So sorry that happened! Looks like the night was still great, so atta girl on not letting it get ya down. Last stupid thing I did was scrape the side of my car on some brick thing (still don’t even know what it is — retaining wall maybe (?) . . . whatevs) leaving our place. In my defense, spaces for cars are so dang tiny in California!!

  4. ichoosehealthyandfit says:

    I feel your pain! I once spent the night at my boyfriend’s house & at night they close one lane so you can park there. Well, silly me woke up the following morning & thought that on Saturdays they kept the lane closed. Wrong. I had to get a ride with my boyfriend’s friend to the police station (my boyfriend had gone golfing an hour away & I lived 2 hours away & new no one in the area) & get them to release my car that had been towed (with an expired license because when I got there I realized my boyfriend had held my license for me at the bar we went to the night before & had not given it back). Oh & it cost double because it was a Saturday. Now mind you, if my lazy butt had gotten up & went to the Saturday class that I was supposed to go to, none of this would have happened. Mine was a $600 mistake (which I had to borrow from my aunt because I was a completely broke college student).

  5. Aww, you poor thing. Great attitude about it though! Something similar happened to me in my last apartment. I locked myself out, but luckily had left the bathroom window unlocked b/c I had been cleaning earlier in the day and airing things out. I pulled a garbage can under the window and tried to climb in. I was scared to death hanging upside down in the shower (which is where the window opened up from). I ended up having to get my neighbor’s young daughter, who is a gymnast, to climb in for me. She did it with no fear! XO

  6. omg…that stinks girl. i just saw a jeff rosen exclusive on the Today show about that…and the locksmith guy said its total crap if they charge you more than 100 bucks. But like you said…what are you going to do?

  7. Tessa Holshouser says:

    A few weeks ago, I went on vacation for 4 days and COMPLETELY turned my air off. Not up to 80 or whatever. When I returned, my apartment was 92 degrees all night long.

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