How to Spend $700 Without Really Trying

Alternately titled: Reason #487 why I am an asshole.

Saturday night, I had plans to hang out with old friends from Michigan that live nearby in Virginia. I was super excited to hang out with some familiar folks and not have to do any small talking. Because we all know about my abhorrence for small talk. 

We had plans to go to dinner and then out on the town, so I got a little fancy and wore a dress and heels and even changed purses. Girls, we all know that this is the true sign of effort, do we not? Yes, ladies, my purse was going to match my outfit. This was big. I got everything switched over to my new bag, and then my friend texted me to say that she was in the neighborhood just looking for parking. I grabbed my keys and headed out to meet her. 

So remember when I first moved into my place and my sister had to shimmy in the window because we had locked ourselves out? I’ve been very vigilant about bringing my keys with me ever since. The doors in my building automatically lock behind you, which I guess is a very secure system, but it kind of sucks if you live alone and don’t know anyone well enough to have them hold onto a spare key for you. Anyway, I had been thinking that I should hide a key somewhere in the building in case I locked myself out again, but of course, I never did that.

And guess who’s key was neatly transferred off of her keychain and into the new purse for the night? The new purse that, you know, did not make the trip outside with me when I went out to meet my friend?

Yeah.

I had my dog with me. And my phone. But definitely not my key. My building doesn’t have any sort of 24 hour maintenance service, which is completely ridiculous, but I found a locksmith on my phone pretty quickly, and he was able to get there within about 45 minutes, so all was not lost. 

Or so I thought.

Because of the crazy industrial/commercial lock, he explained in heavily accented English, the only way in was to drill the lock. This seemed somewhat unlikely–I mean, the guy does this for a living! He can’t bust in some other way??? Sounds ridiculous to me. But being that I don’t own this condo and didn’t think kicking in the door was a brilliant idea, I let him drill. For $185 dollars. Or, “ohhhne heighty faaaayve.”

Awesome.

Once he finally got in, then there was the issue of replacing the drilled lock. Which would only be an additional $450. Oh, is that all??? Plus tax, of course. #FML

I knew I was being taken for a ride, but I didn’t feel like I had any other options at the moment, so I said ok like a stupid dope and watched half of my paycheck get installed on my door. 

Then, I had a few of these.

And a lot of this.

And strangely, in a move very uncharacteristic of me, I had a really fun night and didn’t let the locksmith fiasco destroy it!

 Weird. 

I mean, lesson learned. Expensive lesson, but lesson learned, no less. I’m just grateful that we were able to get back in and that it was a problem that money could solve, not something actually serious. Sure, it was painful to hand over my credit card for a stupid mistake like that, but in the grand scheme of things, not such a big deal. 

What’s the last really stupid thing you did? 

Please make me feel better.