Hey friends! Checking in on a Monday about 10 hours and 4 miles into a juice cleanse. I am not happy.
I bought a deal for a juice cleanse back in January pre-Trinidad and post-holiday gluttony. At the time, detoxing and shedding the Christmas cookies installed in the form of love handles sounded like a fab idea before hopping into my bikini. The voucher for the cleanse was about to expire, and I’d rather be miserable and angry than waste money, so here we are.
I’m one large-ish mini jug (wha???) of coconut water and 2 green juices deep. But it’s actually not just the not eating that’s causing the problem. Or not the bulk of the problem, anyway. No. It’s the lack of coffee.
My friend walked into my office around noon and immediately asked if I was ok because I looked so out of it. I was actually dizzy and lightheaded. Awesome. This juice cleanse thing is shaping up to be a super-fab idea so far!
OK, so aside from the dizziness, lightheadedness, and being generally unhappy, I’ve also noticed that I can barely form a coherent thought. Productivity today? Not so great. I attempted to write a somewhat lengthy email earlier and wound up sending it to a coworker for edits because I just didn’t trust my ability to do anything error-free. Truthfully, I’ve re-read this blog post, and I’m still not sure what it says. In addition, I’m freezing. Like, more freezing than usual. It’s the best day ever.
This is a 3-day cleanse, and I get that the first 2 days are the hardest, but that’s, like, the majority of the cleanse. So that means that the whole thing is basically going to suck. At this point, I’m only still doing it out of stubbornness. Smart money says I give in and eat real food before tomorrow. I’m all for cleaning out my system, but I also need to be able to function. And the fact that the motion activated overhead light in my office keeps turning off as a result of my sedentary behavior today is a good indicator that I’m not functioning all that well.
Also: Apple and kale juice is just as disgusting as you might surmise. Apple and celery is a close second.